Fantastic Fantasy
There comes a time in the life of each
individual when they realise that a lot of stuff that they've been told is absolute and
utter crap.
This realisation may "hit like a hammer" or "crawl up like a worm".
Either way, most of the humans on this planet experience it sooner or later.
With some, it comes early in life, such as when they realise that Daddy actually ate the
biscuits and drank the milk that was left for Santa….. Whoooo?
Any sane, clear thinking person would know that an overweight guy in a red suit could not
possibly deliver gifts to everyone on the planet, much less fit down most chimneys. So why
do we perpetuate the myth? Why do adults actually LIE to their children? Is it because
their own parents lied to them? Or is it that they still secretly believe in flying
reindeers? Hah ! If they do, then they should be in an asylum. If they don't then they
should be in jail ! Why?
Place the scenario in a different time frame. A person is telling an adult that a fat guy
in a red suit will slither down his chimney and leave a heap of toys etc. The adult takes
this at face value and waits ….. and waits…. and waits……
The same thing happens when a large corporation promises a new and innovative
product…. and the prospective client waits….. and waits… and waits….
The difference is, that the prospective client can sue the corporation for misleading
advertising, if the product does not eventuate, and the client had made investments based
on the promises of the corporation.
So then, can a child sue it's parents for promising the attendance of Santa, if the child
had made investments based on the promise of the parents?
Of course, this scenario ignores the fact that the parents are already aware that the fat
Santa does not actually exist…….That is another case altogether…..
The scene changes……..
Courtroom 5 Child v Parents….
A young boy sits in the witness stand. The council for the prosecution paces back and
forth before turning to face the boy.
"You say that your parents actually threatened you? You expect this court to believe
that?"
The boy simply nods.
"Speak up child!" roars the council.
"My mum said Santa wouldn't come if I were bad…" blurted the boy, "She
said she'd tell 'im to miss our house and to give my gifts to Jimmy down the street
!"
The council leaned on the witness box and stared at the boy.
"And were you bad?" he asked.
"No Way !!!" shouted the child. "I were perfect all year. I din do nuffin'
wrong at all. Except when Santa didn't come…… I pushed the tree over…"
He looked at his feet.
"Ahah !" snapped the council, "so you were bad…."
"No, no, not before Christmas" pleaded the lad, "Just after, when I figured
I'd been conned…. just like Dad when he bought that old Torana from Mr Jenkins. He
cussed and kicked the bumper bar and slammed 'is fist on the bonnet. He kept on yelling
that Jenkins had told him one thing and then hadn't delivered the goods" The boy
looked down. " I guess I felt like that when Santa didn't show up. You see, I'd told
the kids at school that I was getting a scooter. And I should have too. Mum said so. All I
had to do was to be good. And I was. " He moved uncomfortably in the seat. " I'd
arranged for the other kids to pay five cents for a ride on my scooter. When it didn't
come, they all called me a liar" Again he moved. "But it weren't me who were the
liar, it was me Mum. She told me time and time again. And so did me Dad."
After a short silence the council said "No further Questions"
The next witness was the lad's mother.
"Madam, did you promise your son a scooter for christmas? Asked the council.
"Er, no… not really. I mean, I didn't promise one. Not from me."
"Did you promise that Santa would bring your son a scooter?"
"Er, maybe…. I think we may have hinted that he might get one from Santa if he
was a good boy."
"And was he a good boy?"
"Oh yes. He was very good all year. He even topped his class at school."
"So why didn't he get the scooter?"
"Well, you know… Things got tight… We didn't have the money…"
"Madam, you are not answering the question. Why didn't the lad get his scooter?"
"Wha,… what do you mean?
"Well madam, as I see it, you have represented yourself to the lad as an agent of
Santa. You made a commitment to supply one scooter if the lad was good. You, yourself have
admitted that he was good, and that the scooter was not delivered. So in fact, in the
absence in this court of one Santa, yourself as his representative, should be held liable
for the delivery of goods as promised. After all, it was you who promised on behalf of
Santa."
"What are you saying?" she sobbed, "I am not an agent of Santa!"
"Ah, but you told the lad that Santa might bring a scooter?"
"Well.. ah… yes, but all parents say things like that…"
"Well madam, I again say that you HAVE represented yourself as an agent of Santa by
your suggestions. The fact that you ARE NOT even an agent as purported, constitutes FRAUD
!
Madam, you are a fraud!!!"
The mother broke down and openly wept. "I am not rich… I couldn't afford the
scooter… He got a wind up toy instead…"
The council leapt in for the kill.
"So! Not only did you not supply what you as an 'agent' of Santa had promised, but
you supplied an inferior toy instead?"
"Yes, Yes" she sobbed.
"Well, Madam, I suggest that you are responsible for your sons future life of crime,
and should be held responsible." The council paced back and forth. "You see, by
lying to your son, and by him realising it, you have destroyed his faith in adults. He may
never again trust other people. His simple outburst of pushing over the tree may be just
the beginning. He will probably turn to drugs to comfort his tortured mind, and this will
lead to theft to feed his habit, and probably murder when a break-in goes wrong."
The woman looked at him in disbelief. "You're mad!" she cried, "You're
dealing in fantasy!"
The council stared back. "Yes Madam, I am. Weren't you?"
***************
footnote:
There has been quite a bit of feedback re this item as
to the way that "lawyers" turn things around to favour their clients.....
For a "classic" example of
this, click here
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